Less than a week to go. Scared haha.

Thank your unlucky stars

So what have I done since the last time I posted? Haha so long ago.

Had a very religious conversation with Jonathan, Tang and Elston at Coffee Bean. I’m not very religious. I suppose it’s natural to have doubts about the bible and God and religious stuff unless you really have a life-changing experience that was a result of God’s actions. But church is still a nice place(:

Went for equipping. Basically just trying on the sizes for the boots, shoes, uniform and helmet and luckily they are going to send our stuff to Tekong directly so we didn’t have to drag all those things home on our own. After equipping I met Shaqillah. Will have to bring her out to somewhere more fun before I get enlisted and only have my precious weekends left haha.

Baked macarons at Elston’s house with Jonathan, Tang and Maojia! Maojia left early, and Dayna joined us for lunch. At first it was quite fun but after the first few batches, it became so tiring. Ended really late, but the macarons that we brought home made everything worth it! :D Hahaha so cool now I can tell people I’ve baked macarons before :D

Had my final tuition sessions with Mann and Shon. I miss teaching (and talking to) them already haha. Teaching is really such a joy(: I don’t think it would be in a classroom setting though.

Went out with Jerdine to Suntec and basically walked around all the malls there haha. Until our feet got really sore and we had to sit down and had tea:D Which reminds me, I’ve been spending a lot recently, going out so much. But I better treasure my time and the luxury of buying what I want to eat and use before I lose that freedom soon hahaha.

Sixeighters’05 lunch was pretty good. Some people decided not to turn up at the last minute though, so we had lots of leftover pizza, which Tang brought home. Mrs Wong came down for awhile!(: Spent most of the time thinking of a question like “What cca were you in?” and going round answering that question. And played indian poker and did balloon sculpting and played pepsicola hands version. Quite nice catching up(:

16Jan – 18Jan was job shadowing at NUH. So glad there were two other people too. Dept of Psychological Medicine. Quite interesting, seeing such patients for real, not like on tv where they always portray psycho people in such extreme light. Need to work on the written report now.

Went to BoonSiong’s house after my last day at NUH. I was late so didn’t catch Mrs Soong. Mr Cheong treated us to dinner!:D And after that we went up. Tand Elston and I were the only sane ones. We focused on fixing a puzzle, while the rest were singing karaoke hahah.

Went out with Shoun quite a few times too, mostly in between/after my various appointments/activities.

Papa came back on thursday! Mummy and I went to fetch him since sis was in school. Had lunch at the airport before we cabbed down to mindef. Phototaking for 11B. I’m probably going to hold that for don’t-know-how-long if I decide to stay. Really can’t tell whether I’ll stay for now, cos it’s too hard to say if I’ll enjoy life inside if I can’t do what I want most. Maybe I’ll still enjoy though, who knows. It’s just that I lost one motivation and I’ll have to find another one. Hahaha money is one big motivation though! The pay is good:D But also that my parents must pay a lot if I decide to quit. But somehow I feel that the penalty for breaking the provisional bond isn’t very harsh. It favours/protects the scholars more than it does the organization. SIgned the agreement and contract too. Lots of perks for a SAF employee, really. Got some updates from air force, but I’m not going to have too much hope on that anymore. At least for now.

Yesterday I went to watch Dance Dance Dragon with my family. Quite a good show if you understand chinese&dialect, like local productions and like singaporean humour. My uncle’s coming up for dinner tonight, and tmr is reunion dinner at my aunt’s house. Cny is coming!! Angpaos hahaha.

I ran this morning after not running for a week due to the NUH thing. But my timing was still good! Although it’s a really short distance la. But this is the distance I’ve been running all along. Maybe I should up the distance so I won’t die when I go in. Heard there’s a lot of running D:

Not sure if I’m excited about Tekong life now haha. More of nervous and slightly scared now. Counting down – 10 more days! Feels so surreal, actually being at this stage. Whatever happened to the me who used to dream of a job which was not physical at all, which was more suitable for someone academically stronger.

Oh and I can’t go for airshow ):

Much too big for tears,

Didn’t do much last week. Had tuition, went to Tang’s house with Shoun&Maojia&Bryce. Accompanied my uncle for a hospital appointment. Went out with Shoun. Had Pastoral Care meeting.

Finally went to mass today haha(:

My schedule is packed, all the way till 19Jan, when my dad comes back and we’ll go sign the agreement for SMS(W). Yes, I’ve decided to accept it, take a risk, put in my best effort and hope it all works out fine. Worst case scenario: study in local uni without a scholarship, which is good enough. Thank you everyone who tried to cheer me up and give me advice and sincerely want me to do what I want(:

Enlistment on 31Jan damn scared and nervous but excited also haha.

Sometimes in life you’ve got to take a chance

So I was offered the SMS(W) provisional scholarship two days ago. And today I received news that I didn’t pass the final cardiac scan, so no more hope of flying in the military. First thing I did after hanging up was stone there for awhile, then I let emotions get the better of me. Sounds like such a weakling right. But I just feel sad, having worked so long and hard (okay fine not that much effort actually), and having s bomb dropped on me 2 days after one of the best things in life took place. Such a rollercoaster ride.

At least I know that I was not offered the scholarship because of all the tests that I have passed, but because I was genuinely found suitable for such a lifestyle. Even though my NAPFA results suck, even though my PES status isn’t the best. I’m convinced that I want to go ahead, lead a life in the military, settle somewhere in the air force or the navy. I just need to get over the temporary sadness that I can’t achieve my dream anymore. And convince myself that there are other things worth working hard for as well. Life in there can be exciting even without flying. Yes, it’s now less a less attractive opportunity, but it’s still a more attractive one than all the other options I have.

No matter what I do, I will give my all and make the most out of what I am given. Everything happens for a reason. There is definitely something out there more suitable for me, and I know it’s not far from me.

Desperately need opinions and advice ):

I am so close to it now omg.

Smile because you can

Back from Penang! Not much of a festive mood there, but it was still fun with the relatives nonetheless :D We took a plane there and back. And while there, we had a driver-cum-guide for the nine of us.

First day after we landed, a few of us went to sleep, and the rest went to walk by the beach and then we went out for dinner and walked at the night market.

Second day we went up Penang Hill. Took this tram-like thing which went up a very very steep track. And we went to a floating village, which was also a unesco world heritage site. Third day we went across Penang Bridge and spent the entire day there. Took a boat ride to look at mangroves and swamps in the afternoon, and another one at night to look at fireflies, so pretty!

Last day was the most amazing day of all :D The four kids plus my really cool uncle went to do water sports! :D :D

All ready to play!!

Banana boat! Which was really very very safe and fun.

Parasailing! :D So fun to be up in the sky and overlooking the hills and mountains and sea and beach. Got a scraped knee and foot after that though. And my cousin twisted her ankle. But it was definitely a good experience.

And my very cool uncle went jet-skiing! After that we heard lots of stories about water sports accidents from the vendor, but I don’t think I’ll stop playing if I had another chance haha.

–

Managed to meet Alison for lunch and just catch up before going off to Penang. That girl is so sweet, she’s been getting me xmas gifts every year hahah but I give her random gifts too, so I’m not too bad a friend.

Hopefully in the first half of January before my dad comes back and we get busy with cny and family time, I can find time for Jerdine, MaoJia, Jonathan&the rest, Dayna, 602clique and sixeighters’05.

To infinity and beyond.

I’m typing this before Christmas, but scheduled this post to be published right after Christmas, when I should be in Penang with my relatives. So MERRY X’MAS everyone! And a HAPPY NEW YEAR too! :D

2011 is almost over. I think this year has been about discovering myself, thinking about what I want to do in the future, and working towards it. Because graduation scares people into doing that.

Proud to say, my passion for flying is still burning(: By the time this post is published, the SMS(W) provisional interview will be over, and it will take another 2 weeks before I know the results. After a year-long application process (in fact more than that), I am so happy with myself. I didn’t let all that trouble and hassle keep me from moving closer and closer towards my dream. If it doesn’t work out, I think I’ll be sad, but I suppose I can just take up flying as a hobby when I become rich. And I’ll just settle for the next thing I want.

My life’s been full of amazing people. Have been meeting people from school less often after graduation, but I’m sure the friendship remains strong(: Dad’s been away for half a year, thank god for phone calls and webcams. Feels like this home is going to get quieter and quieter. Especially grateful for having Mr Cheong around this year, always giving me his most honest opinions and advice, and always concerned about his students.

New opportunities. CAAS YAA, getting to interact with people with similar interests, going on site visits, spending lots of time in the east. MPS, meeting people who I probably won’t meet elsewhere. Beyond, letting me do something I enjoy – teaching. SAC mentoring, mostly full of frustration, but I guess it’s a learning opportunity as well. UQ OSAP, mainly having fun, but also discovering what I don’t want to do.

Obviously, every year has its downs, but no one should constantly dwell on them(: Just shape your thoughts and actions such that the year ahead will be better than the last!

Year’s end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instil in us. – Hal Borland

The urge to ignore.

Last week

On Monday, after we finished the rituals for my grandma’s death anniversary, my two of my cousins + my sis + me went to JP to watch Apple of my Eye! And we had starbucks too cos they were having the one-for-one xmas giveaway :D Still prefer coffee bean though. Met another cousin at the cinema, watching the exact same show at the same time with his friend. After the show, the four of us went to Causeway Pointto have dinner with another cousin @ Ajisen! :D

Food expedition on tuesday after tuition. Went to eat dim sum, then went to Gelare and just lazed there for the rest of the day. We always end up at some comfortable air-conditioned place instead of following our plans hahaha.

Wednesday and thursday tuition, and no more tuition for Mann for the rest of the month.

SMS(W) briefing on friday. So scary. Some of the other people looked quite intimidating. And the timeline seems so packed. From the interview date to the signing&enlisting to military training, uni studies and continuing training afterwards. But that’s only if I get through, of course. Interview this friday omgomg. Better prepare myself well. I really really want to get this and fly my life away hahhah. After the briefing Jerdine and I went to Tiong Bahru Plaza to have lunch at some place which was not bad except for the cheese fries.

Sunday. Yesterday. Went out the entire day. Evening onwards was at Danielle’s house for a not so christmas-y xmas party, but it was fun. Taboo is quite fun!

Today is the start of another week. Going to run with people, meet Alison and meet Shaqillah. And the big interview on friday!!

Lack of sleep and feeling completely emotionally drained now ):

If you benefit from the flaw of a system, will you criticise it for being an unfair one?

The elixir of laughter and life

Sent Alister off yesterday, and he’s coming back in jan. Jonathan got his hamster. A hamster with a broken leg. Was supposed to sleep early last night cos we were meeting very very early in the morning today (waking up at 6.30am on a non-school day gosh). But ended up sleeping at 11.30pm cos one of my best friends decided that his problem is my problem and we were trying to simulate a conversation which was supposed to take place last night too, but never happened.

Anyway. Jonathan Jerdine MaoJia Tang Elston and I met this morning. Only Jerdine Tang and I were punctual. The rest were late! Went off to enjoy our wonderful day, and the photo below sums up most of the day(: Except the sun was shining so brightly and we were walking in not-so-comfortable shoes. So happy :D

Saturday Sunday and Monday with the relatives(:

Undefined boundaries

Giving tuition can be so draining. But still makes me happy(:

Someday I’ll definitely join VSC. Too bad now’s definitely not the time to, since it requires 8 months of training and lifelong commitment, many hours each month.

Going to complete NUS and NTU apps by Saturday. I hope Mr Cheong finishes my UCAS reference soon D:

Had lunch with Alister on Monday, then he came up to print and scan stuff, and stayed for dinner as well. Going to send him off tomorrow afternoon. He’s the only foreigner friend I have. Hope he enjoyed his four years in spore. No idea how long it’ll be before we meet again after that.

For the rest of dec + jan, I’ll continue giving tuition, try to get a hospital attachment for a few days, learn something new like rockclimbing, exercise regularly, go to penang with my relatives, meet people.

It’s a want, not a need.

Photos from convocation(:

With the family. And the week spent with the family was great. Visited many relatives, but also managed to spend some time alone, just the four of us. And the eleven days my dad was back has already past. We sent him off on tuesday evening.

With my dad. He’s back in China now, and the next time he will be coming back is during cny. Just two months this time!

Life’s back to normal after that one week plus break. Tuition, exercise, uni/scholarship apps.

 

Sometimes you just have to trust that people will not do what is not right. It’s a big word, but I think we’ve all got what it takes.

A little bit frightening.

Past week has been filled with activities, and I expect this to go on till end of next week.

Convocation and prom are finally over. Had fun, surprisingly. Left the place earlier after prom with Jonathan Elston Jerdine Tang Ryan to walk along Singapore River, then we went back to the hotel lobby and Bradford joined us as we took drama poster shots and jumpshots in our prom attire.

Officially graduated from NUS High. These six years passed really quickly, and it feels amazing cos I can actually remember the events and people from the six years very clearly even though they passed in a flash. I hope the next part of my life will be fantastic too. More importantly I hope these two months will pass quickly. The applications/interviews period feels so uncertain.

Two movies in a week with my family. We watched Already Famous and Puss in Boots. Both shows were really good. I like Michelle Chong a lot! :D She acts very well, and the movie was funny but touching too. Puss in Boots was just a really cute show haha. And ate a lot and exercised too little this week too.

A levels are over I think, feel happy even though I don’t take them.

Follow that rainbow.

Yesterday was such a tiring but awesome day! :D Went out with Jerdine and Maojia to a lot of places. PoMo, then walked to Bugis, then trained to Orchard, then went on a long train ride cos our legs were tired, then walked to MBS via the Helix bridge from Promenade. In our sunglasses most of the way :D Although we had our retarded moments too. “It’s quite dark./It’s going to rain soon.” *takes off sunglasses* “No it’s actually quite bright.” Hahah. Slept so early last night cos I was feeling really exhausted.

My dad’s coming back home today! And my uncle and aunt and cousin are so nice, they’re going to fetch my dad from the airport together with my sis and I. And tonight we’ll be having dinner with those relatives too. Will definitely treasure the coming week(:

I’m trying to try.

This morning Jerdine and I took a bus to IMM, then we jogged/walked back to Lot 1 before having breakfast at LJS. Covered a total of 8km in 1.5hours haha :D

Went to NUH for medical review in the afternoon. Doctor didn’t say anything, so I hope everything’s alright.

Looking forward to fridayyy :D

Good but not great.

{edit}

602 dinner at Go India! was quite good haha. Went to Sentosa Boardwalk afterwards with gongcha :D

{/edit}

#1 Point-form blogging cos I don’t think it’s worth it to spend my time blogging proper blogposts when I have other more important things to do (like sleeping, for now).

#2 Feel so busy. Like I don’t have enough time for everyone around me. And feel broke too, like the money in my wallet just mysteriously disappears so quickly.

#3 Been shuttling between home and hospital so much these few days, and probably the next few days too.

#4 Mann did super well for his SA2! So proud of him. His usually lousy handwriting and improper sentences disappeared during his papers, but the careless mistakes stayed. But still! :D

#5 Need to find time to get my mum’s credit card and submit UCAS.

#6 Convocation rehearsals D:

#7 Plane-shaped stress ball on my table. So cute haha.

The little piece of hope we all hold on to

Done with Aviation Open House. Tomorrow’s the last day, and probably the busiest too, since it’s the weekend, but I’m not going. Going for pastoral care instead! Been going down to downtown east for AOH (rehearsals and actual stuff) four days in a row. Ended super late on wed night, and only reached home at 12mn. And next morning I had to wake up at 5.30am.

Thurs was opening ceremony. Performance over, and went well too :D Sat in for talks, which felt really tiring, but CAAS arranged a site visit for us to Eurocopter too! Tried the heli simulator. It feels… different from what I expected. And the landing was on a runway, not a helipad, and all of us just landed the plane way. The hangar was filled with helis, and there was a painting workshop too. Super cool haha.

Today was duty. And one of my duty was to go with the TP students for a site visit to Singapore Aviation Academy! Very interesting hahah. There was a simulator for the Airport Emergency Services. Didn’t go on it though, cos it was for the TP students. But it looked so fun. It’s not a fixed device, so the firetruck simulator bounces and jerks. There was this breathing test room too, and we got to experience the kind of darkness the firefighters face. Really pitch black. And during training, they don’t get a torch, and they have smoke and obstacles in the dark. Air traffic control simulator has this 360degrees screen and it’s supposed to feel exactly like the real tower, with the view of Changi runways, the sea, and a few islands offshore. So. Amazing.

So YAA will probably be put on hold for awhile, except for the occasional gatherings, since CAAS hasn’t told us anything that’s coming up, other than Airshow 2012, and a surprise (for most of the YAAs at least. But I’m in the loop haha) visit sometimes soon, probably Dec. YAA activities have been really tiring and have made my life quite hectic. Some stuff were fun, some seemed meaningless, but I’m glad there were learning opportunities too, even if I may not decide to do anything related to what I’ve been exposed to through the program. And travelling can be quite tiring. All the aviation stuff are located at the other end of Singapore. Fortunately there are a few who live in the west too.

Haven’t submitted UCAS D: Must do it by next week.

Completed UCAS personal statement! Just need to find a day and pay and send it out!

Look the horizon, feel the breeze and fly:

Ucas personal statement not completed yet ):

Past week was busy as well. Monday was farewell assembly. It turned out a lot better than the rehearsals.

Tuesday and Thursday: Morning tuition, afternoon tuition, night tuition. So exhausted, the morning one has stopped, and I’m stopping the night one as well. Got the letter from mr cheong on thursday too, and mailed out the application on the day itself.

Wednesday was deepavali. Had pizza hut for lunch! Then my mum went for yoga, my sis went to some home, and I went to utown for tuition with Tang and Phebe. After that was 3/401 grad dinner organised by mrs soong at her condo! Quite fun hahah. I think mrs soong is a really really great mentor, and I feel so lucky to have had two wonderful mentors in my six years in the school (:

This morning I went to settle stuff for my mum. Then chilled at starbucks reading a book, before paying for jonathan’s present, movie, then collecting the present. Jonathan you better thank me, I lugged your heavy present home, my hands almost broke.