Callsign Nine(r)-Victor-Bravo-Oscar-India. The last plane I flew in syfc, the plane I flew in for my first solo.
People have often asked, “how does it feel to fly?” I would say there’s alot of freedom, alot of control. But with all these comes responsibility, especially when there’s a great risk factor in flying. To ensure that you land safely, to ensure that the crew’s and passengers’ lives are never compromised, that’s the main priority. It’s more important to save the lives than save the aircraft. But when the pilot and the aircraft start becoming one entity, all these become natural and instinctive. And all the pilot needs to do is enjoy the flight, explore what he can do with the aircraft, and appreciate the sensations and movements of the aircraft, no matter how slight.
From the beginning to the end, 260909 to 280310. A whole six months I’ve spent in the club learning how to fly, learning how to bring the aircraft up into the air and back down safely. A whole six months where I’ve picked up skills not limited to flying. And here I reflect on this rare opportunity I’ve been given.
I remember filling in the application form with Nelson Jerdine Jiayi. And then travelling down to syfc twice to submit the form cos once, it was closed already. I remember walking from the main gate to the club with them once, and getting a lift from a ST van halfway. And I remember Nelson’s conversations with Rilvia.
The interview for the course was the first interview of my lifetime. I don’t remember feeling nervous at all. But I remember us trying to last-minute memorise some aviation-related things, like the aircrafts at syfc, the aircrafts at rsaf, the four forces acting on an aircraft, etc. Which in the end the interviewers didn’t ask me about. And I believe we were all trying to convince the interviewers that we were worth investing in, we were passionate about flying, saying “I will join rsaf in future.” when in fact, we weren’t too sure at that point in time if we would.
Medical came next. I remember reaching very early with Nelson and waiting for quite a long time and finally the medical was done. When I knew that Nelson and Jerdine wouldn’t be able to join the flying course, I guess that dampened my spirits a little. For some reason. But anyway, I was in and I knew I had to put in my all no matter what. It was something I have taken time and effort to persuade my parents to let me join. And I had to prove to them that I wouldn’t be easily beaten, that they letting me join was the correct thing to do. Besides, it was a commitment I had already told myself that I would commit to right from when I applied.
Orientation began soon after. BFC171, same course as Jiayi and Ivan, luckily or not, I’m still contemplating. Every saturday I would be going down to syfc for briefings and CAIs. Then simulator training started and before you know it, actual flying started! My name, TOH XE, was second last on the BFC171 course board. 17 squares (one for each completed sortie) beside each of our names. Starting to worry if a straight line will fill the 7th to 17th square (i.e. phased out after phase 1). But at least knowing that Tan SL was my primary instructor came as a, I don’t know how to put it, comfort?
Sortie 1 was cool. It’s like a whole new experience. I’ve been in the piper before during joyride, but sortie 1 was the first proper lesson in the aircraft whichI need to study for and which I could touch the controls for real and which I had to show the instructor what I could do cos there was a sortie grade. And the checks. The checks were scary. I remember the first time I saw the FRC I was like what?! There were like over 10 pages worth of checks which I knew I had to memorise sooner or later. I remember Jiayi Ivan and I taking turns to recite the checks in an attempt to memorise them. “Fuel cock select lesser tank, control column release belt, all switches off, parking brake on, …” Slowly, it became a very natural thing to do the checks. And sorties 1 to 6 passed, and I picked up the basics of flying, though very segmented.
Sortie 6, I was put on hold for another 2 sorties before deciding if I can get into phase 2.
Sortie 8, recommended for phase 2. I remember Tan SL asking me “Do you have anything to say?” after flight debrief. And all I told her was “I want to get into phase 2 and continue flying.” At that point in time I wasn’t too sure about that. In fact, I said that because I wanted to fly, true, but I wasn’t sure if I was really enjoying it, what with all the schoolwork slowly piling up. But I just went ahead, didn’t felt like giving up just yet. Now I knew that the remaining squares beside my name would be filled up, at least right up to the 16th one. I only needed to worry if there would be a red triangle on the last one (red triangles are for solo flights).
Starting of circuit training. Up till sortie 11 or 12, I still wasn’t doing too well. And I was really really very scared that I will never get the hang of landing. It was just very pressurizing and frustrating. I didn’t want to fail. Plus, sortie 12 got cancelled and dnco-ed 6 or 7 times which was just demoralizing. Somehow, during sortie 13, I performed very very well, I suddenly got the hang of landing, and de witt cleared me of all solo requirements and the bonus was that I finally got my first 5 in circuits. But sortie 14 and 15 were very bad. One moment I was so exhilarated at the thought of finally being able to land, then suddenly I realised that maybe I couldn’t.
Sortie 16-cum-17, first solo check-cum-first solo! Surprisingly I managed to perform quite well. And OM sent me for first solo.
First solo is probably the best experience I’ve had so far. I don’t believe anyone can say that they have never been frightened in the cockpit. First solo gave me a chance to feel this sense of fright. But along with it came joy and pride. Full stop landing, going to Bay Alpha 5, switching call sign from Skylark 81 to Nine(r)-Victor-Bravo-Oscar-India. Then OM got out of the aircraft, and I was on my own. Taxy to Whiskey 3 holding point, switch to tower, backtrack runway 03, and off I went! “First solo is airborne.” One ciruit, full stop landing, went back to Bay Alpha 5, and while waiting for OM, I was all smiles. I had been in full control of the plane (constantly reminding myself that it is I who controls the aircraft, not the aircraft controlling me.), ensuring my own safety. It just felt really good. I finally managed to complete phase 2, and it ended on a very happy note. Before the flight I was still having worries about whether I would even get to go solo. Guess everything just went really well. Put the red triangle on the last square proudly. After that was the customary water-pouring ceremony, and I got my first solo badge.
Doing circuits in phase 2 is probably the period when I felt most helpless. There were so many times when I felt like breaking down, breaking down from the pressure I put on myself for flying, breaking down from all the other things that I had to do outside of flying. Circuits being a consolidation of everything in phase 1 was very difficult, and nature isn’t always a very friendly thing. The winds and all made flying challenging. And, being given so many different instructors during phase 2 itself, having to adapt to their different styles, it wasn’t easy and I didn’t like it at first. I’ve flown with Tan SL, Liew MH, Tan SK (cfi), De Witt, Chew HS, Chow W (OM) within 8 sorties. But slowly, I started to find that learning the different techniques from all the different instructors gives you a more varied experience, and in a way, it makes you learn more, exposes you to the different techniques of flying and you could choose the one which fit you most. What I did was combine bits and pieces of each instructor’s techniques, got comfortable with it, and made it my own way of flying.
Alas, my journey in syfc has ended, but the memories from there will not be lost here, the lessons I’ve learnt from there will not be forgotten here, and the passion will not die here.
Flying has taught me so many things, one of the weirdest being to learn to appreciate the big blue beyond. Now and then, I will look up at the sky. It doesn’t look as fantastic from down here as it is from up there, but it’s still beautiful. And appreciating that flying is simply me, the aircraft, and the sky, with an occassional voice from the right seat (i.e. the instructor), not as complicated as most things we experience in our lives. I’ve also learnt right from the first few sorties to put my words into action. I remember myself doing the instrument checks “T/C bank left ball right, DI/compass decreasing, AH erect, ADF tracking” without looking carefully at the ADF and hence not noticing that it was actually not tracking. I mentioned that the checks became a very natural thing slowly. But it became too natural for my own good. I was not verbalising the checks, which made me spend too much time staring at one instrument and missing out certain checks at times. Now I know that some things have to be said in order to be done properly, and also done properly once said. Sim training taught me one of the most important things. When emergencies happen, following the procedure in the book does not always work. Prioritising and recognising what’s important is the most crucial. Rule books are paper – they will not cushion a sudden meeting of stone and metal. Multitasking was also a lesson from flying. Looking outside the windscreen and back to the instruments, and handling the radio calls, listening to the instructor, coping with new and old things learnt all at the same time was never an easy task. But I’ve managed to learn all these within a short span of 6 months.
I think I’ve grown through this experience. I have become more confident in myself. I do not think that gender is an obstacle. Sure, guys may be born with better psychomotor skills, etc., but it does not mean girls can’t learn those from experiences. This journey has let me realize that taking the first step is key to everything, and it really takes great courage to believe that you can do it, especially when people around you are saying that you can’t. But after everything’s over, I’ve gained a lot more confidence, and I dare say that I’m in awe of myself too.
So many people I would like to thank. All the instructors, especially Tan SL, who has taught me alot on the ground, who has made my journeys to syfc not wasted despite the flights being cancelled, and also that I need to think ahead of my actions. Think of the consequences. Never to let the aircraft take me someplace where my brain hasn’t arrived at, that there are two kinds of aircraft – the ones that you fly, and the ones that fly you. And the pilot has to be very sure right from the start who the boss is. De witt for being so understanding, for being so patient, and for being such an animated instructor who is ever so encouraging. Cfi for teaching me the most about landing technique. OM for reminding me that flying is about the picture, flaring is about the feeling, not about mechanics. Ken chew for being so harsh yet giving me an extra chance. All the other instructors I’ve flown with, and those who I haven’t for the occassional chat in ops room. Mr Hi for sim training and for talking rubbish. The uncles who drive the syfc van, auntie vivian and auntie winnie for planning me so often as I progressed on in phase 2. Friends in school for all the encouragement, for making me realise that I should do what I enjoy but not stress myself out too much though I still did anyway. Those I got to know at syfc, though quite briefly, for sharing the disappointment of cancelled flights, for talking about random things, for talking about instructors and flight experiences, for making syfc such a wonderful place to be in. Family for putting up with my vast changes in mood cos of the flights, for listening to me talk about my flights, the people I meet there, and everything else. And everyone else who cares.
To most people, the sky is the limit. To those who have experienced flying, the sky is home. Never again will I say that the sky is the limit.
I think I should have clocked at least 18 dual hours and 0.2 solo hours within this 6 months. When once you have tasted flight, you will walk the earth, forever more, with your eyes turned skyward. For there you have been, and there you long to return. – Leonardo da Vinci
